no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So squirting runs in the family.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
