Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
