# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
