But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
