In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
