i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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