VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
