not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
