DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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