whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
