i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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