before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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