just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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