I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I would ride that face into the sunset
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
