i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Congratulations! We have a period
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