sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
