just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
