If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
