Don't make out with my wife yet
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
