There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
honey bunches of taint.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
