I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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