You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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