We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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