it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
