I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
