Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
