I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
