so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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