Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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