it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
