I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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