I feel like I'm in dance class right now
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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