so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
