yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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