I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
