Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
