I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
