and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Please don't give away my fajitas
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
