no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
