You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
