You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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