no, he came in my armpit
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
