I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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