totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
