I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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