I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
