There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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