I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
