Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
