Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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