Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
