so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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