three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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