This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
