you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
