It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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