the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
