I bet he comes in French.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize