Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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