dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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