I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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